@LuvPug: But I meant it as a compliment when I said your baby looks like a pug.
@aimlessamers: Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine.
@huntigula: I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll
@juliussharpe: I can see your camouflage pants, so they're not working.
@UNTRESOR: A shark can sense a drop of blood from 3 miles away, and a mom can sense you're not getting enough to eat from 10,000.
@tastefactory: Let's all smash our hands together repeatedly to indicate that we enjoyed that thing.