@Michael_Erhart: I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years.

@Muath_tu: Apparently you can't get a sick leave just because you're sick of seeing everyone at the office.

@seamussaid: I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks

@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"

@Jandalize: Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.