@BobScottCPA: But people, if you have a gift card that is all used up, do not drop it in a urinal please—it's a Big letdown to fish it out all for nothing
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@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
@Wine_Honey1: These people act like they're never seen a naked store mannequin, holding a wine glass, sitting on someone's front porch before.
@amishschool: If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.
@mollzbenn: There's a reaaalllly old tupperware in the back of the fridge, I tried to open it, but then something closed it from the inside.