@BobScottCPA: But people, if you have a gift card that is all used up, do not drop it in a urinal please—it's a Big letdown to fish it out all for nothing
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@EvilSchwartzie: In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min.
@noog: Judge: Order in the court [from the back] Me: Can I get a large pepperoni pizza with... [puts hand over speaker and looks around] what?