@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom?
I mean, look at their costumes.
@SteveSuckington: ME: in closing, all of the facts I've presented today prove that Bush did 911
PRIEST: and now the bride will read the vows she has written
@MikeBigby: ME: my dog ate my homework
TEACHER AT MY DOG FOOD CULINARY SCHOOL: that is good
@Izianikapani: Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?
@SteveSuckington: Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours?
Me: The babysitter
@MilkshakeAnyone: Addicted to pills? Don't worry. They have a pill for that.