@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom?
I mean, look at their costumes.
@AllTheUglyTruth: Made the decision that I'm done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
@Playing_Dad: [Rappers job interview]
Boss: What is your biggest weakness?
Me: My rhyme game is weak. I can't speak. I'm a geek. Birds have feathers.
@AsgardianRose: In third grade a boy gave me a valentine that said "You're the Obi Wan for me" and that's the highlight of my entire dating experience.
@1followernodad: Jaws is exceptionally funny if you just imagine the shark is trying to be friends with the guys on the boat and they keep running away.
@punmagnate: What idiot called it a meal of light colored carnival bus tickets of appropriate price and not a fair fair fair fare fare