@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom?
I mean, look at their costumes.
@elle91: "Oh Shit, Was That Today?" an autobiography
@SamReidSays: Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich.
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
@WilliamRodgers: I "accidentally" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident
@brennadine: [Dog asleep on rug] I once killed a bear with my own two paws
[Legs move wildly]
THAT'S IT I'M WAKING HIM
"No Henry. Let sleeping dogs lie."