@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom?
I mean, look at their costumes.
@QwertyJones3: "Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."
"WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"
@sokangarude: People that say "we're not even white, we're pink" obviously haven't seen the parts of me that have never been in sunlight.
@HisDulcinea: *Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*
@Gre_Gone: [Clinic waiting room]
Me: WHEN DO WE DO BUTT STUFF??!
Nurse: Sir don't shout that!
Me: [whispering to old lady next to me] butt stuff. when?
@GrantTanaka: Mom: I HEARD UR SICK
Me: just a cold
Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA
M: no I-
Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA
Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT
M: wait, what