@jwoodham: But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?
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@theDanLawler: A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours.
@bfrosty04: Just ran over my neighbors cat. In fairness, though, the damn thing probably thought he was safe when he made it to the porch.
@upsidedowntrash: ME: Velma cant see anything without her glasses, so in order to find her glasses, she needs to be wearing them PRIEST: Those are your vows?