@ThingsIGrewUpOn: But that's none of my business
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@TheToddWilliams: [team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis.
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
@pauvrelapinou: Looking for someone willing to kill a man who has wronged me. Unfortunately I can't pay but would be good exposure for an emerging murderer
@SirEviscerate: BABY: WAAAAAAA- ME: Shhhh, it's okay. BABY: -AAAAAAAA- ME: shhhh.... BABY: -AAAAAALUIGI! ME: wtf BABY: (whispering) No one will believe you.