@RealDMK: Buy followers?
No thanks. I'm married so I spend enough money on people I don't talk to
@MommaUnfiltered: Just text my husband to tell him he left his phone behind & someone is calling him.
And now someone's texting him.
@phranqueigh: I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed
@SondraDeeMe: My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma.
@KKAlThani: I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing.
@therealeatwood: [Biker gang]
ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed?
BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we “synchronize our cycles.”