@RealDMK: Buy followers?
No thanks. I'm married so I spend enough money on people I don't talk to
@vladchoc: Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell “leopard” and “deaf” correctly. You’re going to want to resist that. – Best band manager ever.
@NerishaLakha: Boyfriend and Boy friend.....
See that little space between the second one?
Thats called the friend zone!
@Juicedballs: Walk into a pawn shop with a ponytail & a handlebar mustache & they treat you like Ray Liotta walking thru that restaurant in Goodfellas
@Reverend_Scott: Goldfish 911: What's ur emergency?
Goldfish: I forgot
Goldfish 911: Forgot what?
Goldfish: WHO IS THIS?
Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW
@Jeffwni: [job interview]
Interviewer: It says here that you are a blowfish. Would you care to expand?