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@Token_Geezer: Buy one annoying person, get two free!
@TheMichaelRock: Wait! What?!
The subway is flooded? WHAT ABOUT THE NINJA TURTLES?!
@jollyrobber: Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there.
@causticbob: Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: A wise man once said...
Wife: STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!
@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan