@Gott_Partikel: Buying a life insurance policy is best way to pretend that you have a life.
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@McNevich: If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper
@ErrenMichaels: *narrows my eyes at you suspiciously* *keeps narrowing them* *closes them entirely* [naps]
@SuperRandomish: When someone asks how I feel, I always answer "Squishy and like I've done something wrong"