@Thynebear: [buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Smooheed: My husband told me I was beautiful for the first time tonight Sure, he was drunk and using a Scooby Doo voice but I'll take it
@trojansauce: [after i confess to murder] COP: sarge? you gotta see this [shows interrogation video and sees my fingers crossed the whole time]
@girlontapas: I do things for others... Like when I'm drunk dancing by myself, Billy Idol style, and I save my friends from being seen with me.