@Cynner777: Buying little gold star stickers so when people I'm speaking with say things I like I'll stick one on their forehead.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage
@TheAlexNevil: We've all got that one family member who's an embarrassment and this restraining order suggests my family's settled on me.
@OrangeFact: SPOILER ALERT: In the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting," it's a baby. You're expecting a baby.
@tweetsvisual: I like a good strong woman. But I prefer them not to be named Olga and bench press me in front of my friends.