@Kid_topher: Buzzfeed: 9 Ways to Know You're Dating a Real Woman and Not a Burrito
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@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
@CheetoBandito77: This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it "double bagged"...I said "No, you're not THAT ugly..." And that's why I'm not allowed in Target.
@LaLuchaNix: My husband says none of my metaphors make any sense. He is just an empty canoe in the snow.
@randomlawless: Men don't ignore us; they have selective hearing. Give them instructions for roasted turkey & they'll remember "breast, thighs, moist & hot"