@Kid_topher: Buzzfeed: 9 Ways to Know You're Dating a Real Woman and Not a Burrito
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@MooseAllain: If you are single, book a table for two this Valentine’s. Keep checking your watch. Order your meal for one, tearfully. Result: Free drinks!
@I_Bl33d_Purple: I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru.
@notfaizzy: waiter: what would you like to order, sir? me: a naked salad, please. waiter: ... me: you know, no dressing.