@mikefossey: BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon
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@RocketRankoon: I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie.
@GuyAdvisor: Me: You know, talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. Me: I know, right? Me: It's a sign of advanced intelligence. Me: High-5. Me: Word.
@WilliamAder: Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said "Take on an empty stomach" so, not yet.