@Black__Elvis: By a show of hands, who has hands? Sit down Leonard, you're a seahorse.
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@TheresNoGodzila: Her: You spent our entire life savings on dogs Me: They're golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us
@jeffswarens: If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster.
@ElleOhHell: [at library] ME: Yes, I'd like to Czech out a book on eastern Europe. LIBRARIAN: 3rd floor ME: Get it? L: This is dialog, I'm not reading it