@Roflindian: By iPhone 30, you'll have a choice. Whether to buy an iPhone or an island in the Caribbean.
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@TwoSapphiresBlu: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder, "Do my children just spit directly at their face when brushing their teeth?"
@ryangriffiths: People that say "The worst kind of cut is a paper cut" probably haven't been stabbed in the face before.
@l0ttiehall: Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision.
@GrantTanaka: Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]