@Roflindian: By iPhone 30, you'll have a choice. Whether to buy an iPhone or an island in the Caribbean.
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@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica
@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.
@CornOnTheGoblin: "Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?" *sigh* "Because you don't b-" "BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"
@duplicitron: Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.