@TJ_Whitehead: By my calculations, I've spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table
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@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@KateWhineHall: I just spent the day painting our fence. All I know is tomorrow I better be able to do karate.
@imteddybless: us women should leave something 2 the imagination. for example it should always be unclear whether ur human or a mysterious glowing vapour