@TeflonPawn: By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
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@notacroc: Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket* Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket* Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*
@just1fool: Don't ever talk to me in an elevator. It will just be uncomfortable. I don't want to be put in that position. With my hand over your mouth.
@Elizasoul80: First date Him: What do you do? Me [pulls out a Victoria's Secret catalog that I've clearly glued photos of my face into] "I'm a model."