@NYC_Blonde: By the power vested in me by this vintage merlot, I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may now kiss the bottle.
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@themorris23: And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no "non creepy" way to ask where the Vaseline is.
@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.
@MildlyClassic: Unfollowing because you didnt get a follow back is like quitting drinking tea because the tea doesn't drink you back. It doesn't make sense.
@MandiAtRandom: A car almost ran into me and I screamed "WOAHHHHHH THERE BUCKAROO" I could have died and those would have been my last words