@DadBeard: By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?
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@Swain_Train47: Cop 1: You think Simon will escape? Cop 2: Nah, he's locked up in there good. Simon: Simon Says free me. Cop 1: Dang it, he got us.
@StarksWeek: "Bluetooth or crazy" - is a guessing game I play when I see someone talking to themselves on the street. I usually guess wrong.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My new yoga instructor's name is Matt so I called him "Yoga Matt" & he said "yeah, don't ever call me that". Yoga Matt isn't very zen.