@jeffswarens: By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something
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@chopper4jk: My son wants to change his given Indian name, so I told Broken Condom he could change it if he really wants to. Kid's these days...
@chris_isloi: So apparently "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops.
@EyeSeeYou619: If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right.
@JohnLyonTweets: House arrest? Your Honor, if anyone is going to be punished here it should be me. My house has done nothing wrong.