@jeffswarens: By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something
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@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.
@DevinRange: I love my 5yr old dearly, but if he keeps saying "Dark" Vader I may have to sell him.
@juliussharpe: With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia.
@Carmel_Coleman: Had a girl say "I want you to treat me like a virgin" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano.