@jazmasta: By the way it was me who set those sheep free to roam around the courtroom during your divorce hearing. In case ewe were wandering.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: (Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
@RobotSkeleton69: It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned...
@Adam14: My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.