@K_Chapacabra: Call me faithless, but I just can't believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
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@mattingebretson: I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression
@YUCKYBOT: The difference between my "Maine lobster" and my "main lobster" is boiling water or a high five.
@ImmorallyFixate: Hand me the Phillips screwdriver, babe. No, the Phillips. NO. Ok look, hand me the thing you stabbed me with on New Year's. Thanks pumpkin!