@therealeatwood: Call me old-fashioned but I think a woman should use her mouth for its intended purpose: for carrying her babies as cats carry their kittens
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@jamisondg1: I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards
@TheMichaelRock: Whenever you're feeling down and out, just remember that there's people walking around with Twilight tattoos.
@flashember: COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. "polargeists" [very sad robot noises]
@usermcuserface: You start a mosh pit at the orchestra one time and all of a sudden you're "banned for life" and "arrested".