@Reverend_Scott: Call me old fashioned, but I think any woman that can open the lid of a jar by herself is a witch.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above
@TheTweetOfGod: Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems
@shawnspree: Friend: How many calories does heartache burn? Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.
@audipenny: I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this