@JermHimselfish: Call me old fashioned, but I'm dying of smallpox.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!
@kumailn: It's fine to eat chicken with skin but serve beef with skin and everybody just starts freaking out.
@QwertyJones3: [texting] So what's your name? "ily" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?