@shutupmikeginn: Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift.
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@joeljeffrey: Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol
@BberrySurprise: "I do not negotiate with terrorists!" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.
@Shelts99: I may have hit rock bottom, but the upside of being down here, is I can see up all of your skirts. As you were.