@LurkAtHomeMom: Called Comcast to see about dropping my service and long story short, If anyone wants to watch Showtime, call me on one of my 36 landlines.
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@slimmy_shady: If E.T. is making your bicycle fly through the sky, why do you still have to pedal?
@Carbosly: A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
@Sarcasticsapien: Me: How are you? Coworker: I can't complain. Me: *sticks finger in his coffee* Coworker: I just paid for that! Me: I knew you were lying.