@shutupmikeginn: Called it
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@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
@curlycomedy: When people write, "your dumb," maybe it's not a typo--they just mean stupidity belongs to you. "Here's your dumb now leave."
@TheMongoose69: Had to get sticky tape and gift tags surgically removed from my body at the hospital... Proving once again that white guys can't wrap.
@9589smith: Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop