@lenadunham: Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
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@shegotagronk: You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
@kentgrossarth: Vegetarian: 'You know, a cow died so you could have that burger'. Me: 'Maybe he died because you keep eating all of his food'.
@JiminyKicksIt: It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.