@sarahshopbird: Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there.
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@AndrewChamings: (god creating crows) black. blacker! little beady eyes. deathly squawk angel: what if there’s a bunch of them god: MURDER angel: you ok pal?
@JermHimselfish: Ordered a pizza. Delivery guy and I talked for 45 minutes about swords and he got fired. Now he lives here, we're gonna fight crime together
@1Happytwit: I'm not a mechanic so I don't know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
@LorieGZ: My husband thinks The Bachelor show is fake, they're all there to be actors, and that it's total bullshit. Then he turned to wrestling.