@sarahshopbird: Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds
@_LUMP: People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about.
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs left his Amazon account open on the laptop and I swear to God if I'm getting a lawnmower for Mother's Day there will be bloodshed.