@sarahshopbird: Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there.
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@causticbob: Today I learned my laser pointer can go all the way to the bar across the street. Drunk people still think there's a sniper somewhere.
@Storminika: The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?
@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.