@sarahshopbird: Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there.
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@frankpallotta: A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994.
@AaronMichael_: Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
@RealSamHarwood: I shouted "the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour