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@The_Perturbator: Calm down, Norway.
@mayamanion: I've been listening to the official workout station on Pandora for 3 months and I'm still fat, I'm calling bullshit.
@li4mst3w4rt: alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
@modestjune: What kind of bears don't have teeth? Gummi bears. ;)
@Home_Halfway: Can I still watch 300 if I haven't seen the first 299
@flashember: [Ghost describing stalker to sketch artist]
"He was a yellow circle with a demonic mouth."
*holds up drawing of Pac-Man*
*sobs* THAT'S HIM!