@tealbluejay: Calm down penguins. You're just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: I can't cook because, I "believe" I can't cook. And you want to know what makes me believe that? Me: The arrival of the paramedics?
@Kennycruzin: When one squirrel says "I like to eat nuts", there is probably always another squirrel who says "that's what she said."
@thetruealban: Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge