@tealbluejay: Calm down penguins. You're just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus.
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?
@better_off_dad: I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00
@chicnlil1: Dear boyfriend, i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. Sincerely, spiders
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Are you still wearing pajamas? Go change. 4yo: *Goes upstairs *Comes down wearing different pair of pajamas