@writerPT: Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit.
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@RickAaron: I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.
@bobvulfov: COP: careful, this guy's insane DETECTIVE: ok [he walks into the interrogation room] ME: i dont like the creme part of oreos D: jesus christ
@DelanieFischer: One of my favorite things about Walmart: the impulse buy is no longer a breathmint, it's an entire rotisserie chicken.