@Dawn_M_: Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
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@enigmaticmess: Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes
@werehedgehog: When your baby cries, don't feed it. That's just what it expects you to do. You have to outsmart it.
@dumbbeezie: People almost never do the cute little Pillsbury dough boy noise when you poke them in the stomach. Everything is a lie
@CulturedRuffian: Don't worry little groundhog, when I stick my head outside and see what's going on in the world today I run back inside and hide too.