@Dawn_M_: Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!
@iwearaonesie: *comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice
@AbbyHasIssues: *Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
@BarebakAssassin: Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public.