@Crunch11b: Calm down white moms on dish detergent commercials, no wife is EVER that excited about dishes. Ever.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Grandmother: "So what is Skype?" *Explains in great detail on how it works* "So do I need a computer for it?" "I JUST...how's your cat?"
@Biraahwa: Friend: Do you have a bird problem? Me: No. Friend: Why is there a scare crow in your compound. Me: Oh that? That's for people.
@kimmie_1980: I should start a wine company and name the bottles things like "don't be sad" "he's not worth it" "you deserve better"!
@truegritrumble: FRIEND: Try to relate to her. (Later on Date) ME: *nervously* Can I be your cousin?