@Laser_Cat: "Your barbeque sauce is on my beagle!" "Your beagle is in my barbeque sauce!" *We both grin and put on bibs*

@CryptoNature: Some vampires adopt common dog names so that people will accidentally call them inside.

@Ideal_Victoria: [during sex] Him: it'd be nice if you were a little more enthusiastic Me: *pulls out giant foam finger*

@novicefather: I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.

@joeljeffrey: I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down.