@ceejoyner: 2 halloweens ago I was brutally owned by a small child when I answered my door in normal clothes and she said "nice lumberjack costume."

@WhatTheFFacts: Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.

@TheCatWhisprer: Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.

@Cheeseboy22: Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck.

@seamussaid: I may toss the cat into my teen's room when he snoozes his alarm if he fails to check his pillow for catnip before bed that's his own fault