@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.
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@tsm560: Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?
@bridger_w: When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
@AndrewNadeau0: WOLF: Can I have a thing? GOD: Like what? W: I want to scream at the moon. G: Not wings or- W: No. G: But you cou- W: Scream. At. Moon.