@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.
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@alexlumaga: Billionaires: Don't call us "billionaires" call us "people of means" also this hot tub water's getting a bit too warm why are you adding carrots and potatoes
@cambuslad: You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals.
@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.