@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.
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@Kali_Mura: Cop: So, I’m writing a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane. Me: You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk.
@jackiembouvier: [First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?
@johnbiehl: *sees lost cat* Hey buddy you lost *reads tag* there's a phone number *dials number* *little cell phone in cats pocket starts ringing*