@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.
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@robdelaney: If you pitch a non-superhero, non-remake, non-sequel film in Hollywood they send your family to a work camp.
@PyrBliss: Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts.
@Fred_Delicious: Waiter, there's a spider in my pie. I thought you had an "award winning chef" *waiter points to MOST CUSTOMERS KILLED BY PIE SPIDERS trophy*
@_Tempo11: I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park.