@Scott_A_Gilmore: Came home from work early and caught my inflatable girlfriend cheating on me with the beachball.
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@darinlovesbacon: I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast
@I_Bl33d_Purple: I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru.
@edgarrants: My wife used to make meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Then she joined Twitter... Now I'm lucky if she buys cereal.
@GrantTanaka: It's important for me to teach my kids to be independent & self-reliant, cause I won't be around forever, especially if I win the lottery.