@desi_princess: Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke.
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@BlindVigil: I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test. It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do...
@NikiWithIssues: By the power vested in me by my credit card, I now pronounce you my new fluffy hat. You may now hug my head.
@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.
@cajones113: Customer: I can't see. How many sugar and fiber are in this bar? Me: 7 sugar 5 fiber C: That's not very healthy... Just the smokes then.