@LetsFav: Can Happiness buy money?
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@musicntats: 10: Mom, I know your secret; you're a superhero Me: I am? 10: Yes, I found your handcuffs and a mask. Me: Me: Yes, I am. I'm a superhero!😏
@primawesome: Facebook: Hey remember this pic of your dog that died? Me: Damnit Facebook not now. FB: Sorry... FB: Your ex girlfriend is getting married.
@stephenjmolloy: Magician: "Think of a card." Me: "Okay." Magician: "You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!" Me: "I was thinking about a get well soon card."
@Breadery: Snow White succumbs to avian influenza as a message against the laziness of magically hiring animals to complete household chores.