@Missy_Kell: Can I donate fat instead of blood?
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@WilliamRodgers: I "accidentally" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident
@shkeeber: "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No you hang up" *slams phone* Why do I keep calling that parrot?!
@MyPornKhan: When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up.