@Missy_Kell: Can I donate fat instead of blood?
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@huntigula: [job interview] Last test: put ur hands on the desk & don't move [plays 'In The Air Tonight'] [I begin violently shaking as drum solo nears]
@bornmiserable: [takes a drag from a cigarette] Her middle name was Danger. Her first name was Danger. Her last name was Danger. Her parents were stupid.
@sara_ashlynn: My son kneed himself on the trampoline. *black eye forming Me: Son, we need to come up with a better story than this.