@Missy_Kell: Can I donate fat instead of blood?
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@Mikecanrant: When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put "lame shorts" and nothing happened
@markydoodoo: I like it when squirrels pop their dumb heads up in the middle of the street like "did I lock the tree?"
@byrdie_num_num: Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.