@joeljeffrey: Can someone call me right now? I'm at the dog park and my ringtone is a doorbell.
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@ddsmidt: As I was driving, some stranger yelled "what's your problem lady?" So I was honest, I said I drink too much and I can't stop eating chips.
@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
@jerm1991: Astronaut: wtf is this NASA: it's space food A: I specifically asked for only Milky Way bars N: look we get it but- A: no no I'm coming down