@pizzajaynow: Can someone help me figure out how much water I need to add to this baby powder in order to make a baby?
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@Cpin42: Twelve years ago today, my brother gave me one of his kidneys. I still can’t believe that he did it. I wasn’t even sick.
@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
@Tmoney68: My GF called me "behind the times" today. I got so upset, I paused the VCR, paged my friends & asked them to fax me their best advice.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Why does mom always yell at you? Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you’re stupid?