@isaidwhat_: Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ygrene: Scientists now believe that approx 2% of Earth's water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
@1InTheStinker: The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike.
@ThisLocalHater: The theme from Jaws plays eerily in the distance, only to reveal me approaching an open bar at a wedding.
@AlmightyBored: What's the proper etiquette for when someone cancels plans? Should I send them a thank you card?