@robfee: Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible.
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@MandaDeen: I instantly feel horrible when I judge someone, so I stopped. Now I make rational conclusions based on insightful observations.
@CubanaMama82: If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice.
@MartaEffing: My date thinks he's gonna get me drunk, & then get in my pants. The joke is on him, coz my tolerance is sky high & I'm wearing a skirt.
@bombsydoll: in high school I was voted 'who is that? does she even go to our school? Never saw her before'