@the_gramble: Can someone who is good with computers help me out? I keep running out of storage space for some reason
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@chuuew: Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza.
@Petote: Is that all? "I wanna stab you." Huh? "Cut your throat." What? "Drink your blood." Um. "Have your baby." Uh. "Kidding! I'll have a coke."
@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.
@MrSpoonicorn: yells "PARKOUR" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance