@KKAlThani: Can we speak to the Mayans and have the ending of the world earlier than planned? Preferably before the premier of the new Twilight movie.
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@Julian_Deane: Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is.
@themiltron: [God creating beards] ADAM: God, I don’t like my face. GOD: Tell ya what, buddy: I’ll cover it in pubes. ADAM: What? That’s not— GOD: Done.
@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.