@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'
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@stevevsninjas: Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves Yoga instructor: True Nutritionist: So wise Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan
@sexypitabread: "I don't want no scrubs" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes
@primawesome: Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball.
@joeljeffrey: When I kiss a girl, sometimes I dont know what to do with my hands, so I slow clap behind her head to make sure she knows I'm enjoying it.