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@Jakexox: "Can you describe your self in two words?"
@MrDelFreaky: Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin.
@peteholmes: Sometimes I like to pretend an ! is just a ? squeezing through a tight space.
@SoVeryBritish: Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely"
Outside: "Well, it was okay"
In car: "I mean, it wasn't great"
Back home: "We won't go there again"
@TwoSapphiresBlu: That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty.
@lawyerthoughts: Just when I think I'm 100% against the death penalty, I see a bright yellow hummer taking up two parking spots.