@_steamy_mac: Can you get syphilis from eating a hot dog you found in a parking lot? My wife doesn’t believe me.
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@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.
@doggiedogthedog: I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off. She said, I don’t know, have you tried walking through the room naked?
@PhilJamesson: "My computer just crashed" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm
@murrman5: [walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent